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I am an experienced Personal Mentor and Inspirational Speaker and have survived divorce, my Mum’s physical and mental illnesses, parental bereavements and six redundancies over my 30-year career.
The day I realised I didn’t have to be a ‘victim’ - at the mercy of all the setbacks life threw at me, and that I could take control of where I was going, was one of the most amazing experiences of my life. Now ‘You can’t necessarily affect what happens to you, but you can decide what you do about it’ has become my way of life.
As long as I could remember, I had been like the silver ball in a pinball machine – being hit by a major setback and bouncing off in a random direction only to be caught by the next setback which sent me spinning again.
And I do mean major setbacks – six redundancies, divorce, my Mum’s physical and mental illnesses, parental bereavements within three months of each other, the victim of bullying at work and my own major illness and subsequent surgery. And not one at a time – the day my first redundancy was announced was the day my divorce papers arrived. So finding the strength and courage to haul myself back from each of the setbacks time and time again was far from easy. But I did it, and each time I got back on track I used the power from my survival until I had such a resource of courage and positive attitude that I am now really being ‘the best I can be’. I’m not sure there won’t be more difficult times - chances are life may still have some more nasty surprises in store, but I face every day with the attitude that I have survived all these pretty dreadful things already – I will get through the rest.
And having triumphed over so much, I thought there had to be some point to it all, something positive I could salvage from all the trauma I had gone through. It occurred to me how useful it would have been when I was facing my first setback if I had known some of the techniques and skills that had been so helpful over the years. So I created ‘No More If Onlys’– with a website, a series of inspirational workshops and personal mentoring that brought together all I had learnt though my lifetime of survival. It’s a way of helping others who are facing some of the problems I have experienced to not only get through the rough times, but also go on to achieve their goals and ambitions. And it works - I am ‘living hindsight’ – proof that my skills and techniques really do help achieve what you want from life despite all the obstacles. You can find out more about my No More If Onlys programme at http://www.nomoreifonlys.com
Every time it happens, redundancy is a shock even if you are expecting it, but I have learnt skills and techniques that have helped me restart my career again and again. I am also a qualified Careers Advisor, from an earlier part of my working life, so I know how to produce a really effective CV and successfully manage interview situations. You can check out my advice on surviving redundancy including tips and techniques for CVs and interview skills at http://www.helpwithredundancy.com
Debbie is a speaker at both the London and Brighton Starting Over Shows.